The Dilemma Of Assertive Parents
“The journey of growing up may not be easy but it is definitely very beautiful.”
The parent came to me with tears in her eyes and a heavy heart. On a little stroke, she opened and said, “My child, will always ask for my consent before eating a chocolate straight out of the fridge. He will also feel guilty and be apologetic as if he was heartbroken about going against our words. He often breaks down easily over petty things, and I feel he is emotionally quite vulnerable. “
“I feel I am too firm with him, knowing he is a sweetheart and means everything with good intentions. When I analyze, I tend to question if I am being too harsh and is the right thing to do?”
“I am quite uncertain!”
Yes. Many parents have these thoughts, often clouding their minds. We need to acknowledge this: Children are different and have varied temperaments and personality trait that may or may not be like their parents.
How a child responds to the instructions, rules and parenting patterns will depend upon the kind of personality they have. We as parents, teachers and primary caregivers need to remember certain basic principles of dealing with the children.
Children will always respond better when you Listen, Question, Answer, Smile, Make Eye Contact, Agree or Disagree with A Reason, Be Realistic, Say and Show Your Love, and Ensure 12 Touches A Day.
At the same time, we need to remember if we as parents don’t teach them the values and instill the goodness then who would. The world around is full of challenges, and the child will make a place for himself by learning all the ways to deal with tough people and situations. Some may learn it easily some will learn with difficulty. Some with learn at the first heartbreak, some will learn at the second.
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It takes all sorts of people to make a world full of diversities. Every child is different and has their unique sensitivity levels. So, the way in which a child is handled has to be tailor-made and we cannot have one thumb rule for everyone.
“As a child grows, so does a parent”.
*This article is contributed by one of our teacher, Ms. Sudeshna Nath, PGT & MA in Psychology, and a school counseller. She has been dealing with students, teachers, and parents, advising them her expertise since 2006. She is also on the panel of experts with NCERT, IGNOU, and CBSE Board.